I've been absent from this site for a while, but I plan on posting more after the new year. However, I want to mark the passage of an anniversary today.
Twenty-five years ago this night, two lives intersected, and both were forever changed. Tonight, I sit in memory of that event, when selfish and uncaring actions by myself stole something that can never be returned.
I mark this anniversary this night, as I have every night for the past 24 years, in her memory. I pray that she has found her way back to the peace that I took from her. She forgave me - I cannot forgive myself.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Against Bullying
If you think it's OK to persecute, harass, and shame former sex offenders, you're not against bullying.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Hero?
This is not the hero you are looking for...
In November of 1934, the Law against Dangerous Career Criminals is passed in Nazi Germany, and permits the detention and castration of sex offenders and others guilty of "racial-biological" crimes. Along with over 6 million Jews, they are sent to concentration and labor camps, where they are ultimately killed.
Sources: facinghistory.org, Wikipedia.
In November of 1934, the Law against Dangerous Career Criminals is passed in Nazi Germany, and permits the detention and castration of sex offenders and others guilty of "racial-biological" crimes. Along with over 6 million Jews, they are sent to concentration and labor camps, where they are ultimately killed.
Sources: facinghistory.org, Wikipedia.
Monday, September 2, 2013
The Hit List - Part 2
In 2012, in Washington, Patrick Drum murdered Gary Blanton, Jr. and Jerry Ray.
In 2013, in South Carolina, Jeremy and Christine Moody murdered Charles and Gretchen Parker.
Also in 2013, in Idaho, Bradley Houser assaulted and beat Rick Perkins.
The victims of these crimes were Sex Offenders. In each of the murders, the killers admitted to planning to continue tracking down and killing Sex Offenders until they were caught. These are but three examples of a disturbing trend regarding Sex Offenders, and the link between them is clear - in every case, the Sex Offender Registry was used to identify and track down the victim.
The question must be asked: why is this happening? The stated purpose of the various Sex Offender Registries is to inform the public in order to promote awareness and safety. However, inflamed passions and the twin myths of high recidivism rates and the ineffectiveness of rehabilitation lead to beliefs such as this:
Given that the general public has proven that they cannot handle information such as the Sex Offender Registry in a responsible manner, the time has come for that information to be removed from the public view.
In 2013, in South Carolina, Jeremy and Christine Moody murdered Charles and Gretchen Parker.
Also in 2013, in Idaho, Bradley Houser assaulted and beat Rick Perkins.
The victims of these crimes were Sex Offenders. In each of the murders, the killers admitted to planning to continue tracking down and killing Sex Offenders until they were caught. These are but three examples of a disturbing trend regarding Sex Offenders, and the link between them is clear - in every case, the Sex Offender Registry was used to identify and track down the victim.
The question must be asked: why is this happening? The stated purpose of the various Sex Offender Registries is to inform the public in order to promote awareness and safety. However, inflamed passions and the twin myths of high recidivism rates and the ineffectiveness of rehabilitation lead to beliefs such as this:
Given that the general public has proven that they cannot handle information such as the Sex Offender Registry in a responsible manner, the time has come for that information to be removed from the public view.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Victim Blaming
Recently, I ran across the following on Facebook:
This is all good advice, and really, I can't stress enough that this graphic is spot-on.
However, this comment caught my eye:
Again, spot-on, and something that needed to be said. In the current culture of "believe the victim, no matter what" because she "made the brave choice" to come forward, accusations of rape have become the weapon of choice of the jilted girlfriend.
Understand this, though: Not all accusations of rape are false. And I don't believe that the commenter meant to imply that. On the flip side of the coin, we (if we are being honest with ourselves) need to acknowledge that it does happen.
Then, this happened:
No.
In context (a post with a graphic that gives advice about what is and isn't rape), a comment furthering that advice is most decidedly not "victim blaming". Declaring it to be so is, at best, an attempt to silence an uncomfortable truth, much like "victim blaming" itself does.
Education about what is and isn't rape should cover both sides of the street. Distilled down to its bare essence, the education we need to be teaching our young men and women is:
In a he said/she said case with no other witnesses, where the presence of biological evidence is damning and the pressure to believe the victim over the accused is high (lest there be an accusation of "victim blaming", oh the irony), it happens. Too often, and with life-changing consequences for the accused.
So what is victim blaming? Simply put, victim blaming is when it is suggested that someone bears some responsibility for the fact that a crime (usually sexual assault, but including mugging, robbery, and others) was committed against them. It takes the form of statements such as:
Talking about sexual assault is difficult - it is a minefield filled with triggers and powerful emotions. However, those emotions, while very valid, have no place in a discussion about what is and isn't rape. Stating that someone shouldn't take back consent after it is given is not victim blaming. Giving consent, having sex, and then taking back that consent out of a desire to gain revenge is wrong, just as rape itself is wrong.
This is all good advice, and really, I can't stress enough that this graphic is spot-on.
However, this comment caught my eye:
Again, spot-on, and something that needed to be said. In the current culture of "believe the victim, no matter what" because she "made the brave choice" to come forward, accusations of rape have become the weapon of choice of the jilted girlfriend.
Understand this, though: Not all accusations of rape are false. And I don't believe that the commenter meant to imply that. On the flip side of the coin, we (if we are being honest with ourselves) need to acknowledge that it does happen.
Then, this happened:
No.
In context (a post with a graphic that gives advice about what is and isn't rape), a comment furthering that advice is most decidedly not "victim blaming". Declaring it to be so is, at best, an attempt to silence an uncomfortable truth, much like "victim blaming" itself does.
Education about what is and isn't rape should cover both sides of the street. Distilled down to its bare essence, the education we need to be teaching our young men and women is:
If someone cannot or did not consent to a particular sexual encounter by saying "YES", it is rape. If someone said "YES" to a particular sexual encounter, they cannot later change their mind about that consent after the fact. Period.
In a he said/she said case with no other witnesses, where the presence of biological evidence is damning and the pressure to believe the victim over the accused is high (lest there be an accusation of "victim blaming", oh the irony), it happens. Too often, and with life-changing consequences for the accused.
So what is victim blaming? Simply put, victim blaming is when it is suggested that someone bears some responsibility for the fact that a crime (usually sexual assault, but including mugging, robbery, and others) was committed against them. It takes the form of statements such as:
"You shouldn't have worn that."
"You shouldn't have walked alone at night."
"You should have locked your doors."
Talking about sexual assault is difficult - it is a minefield filled with triggers and powerful emotions. However, those emotions, while very valid, have no place in a discussion about what is and isn't rape. Stating that someone shouldn't take back consent after it is given is not victim blaming. Giving consent, having sex, and then taking back that consent out of a desire to gain revenge is wrong, just as rape itself is wrong.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Officially Licensed Sex Offender
File under "You can't make this shit up":
That's right, the local Sheriff has given me permission to be a Sex Offender for another year.
#WTF
That's right, the local Sheriff has given me permission to be a Sex Offender for another year.
#WTF
Thursday, July 4, 2013
What It's Like
[Everlast, What It's Like]
You're tellin' stories about the man livin' down the street
His eyes are funny, he keeps to himself, and he's kind of a creep
You look him up on the internet, see he's on some list
But that don't tell his whole story, and there's the twist
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
See, Mary had sex with Tom because they were in love
Her parents had a problem with that, confronted Tom, and push came to shove
Hearts were broken, charges filed, and police called
'Cause he's 18, she's only 16, and that's the law
Now he's out of jail and trying hard to find some work
They call him "monster", call him "pedo", and call him "pervert"
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
It'll make a proud man beg, make a good man sin, make a tough man cry
When you can't win, make you wanna cash in, and so you start to lie
His eyes are funny, he keeps to himself, and he's kind of a creep
You look him up on the internet, see he's on some list
But that don't tell his whole story, and there's the twist
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
See, Mary had sex with Tom because they were in love
Her parents had a problem with that, confronted Tom, and push came to shove
Hearts were broken, charges filed, and police called
'Cause he's 18, she's only 16, and that's the law
Now he's out of jail and trying hard to find some work
They call him "monster", call him "pedo", and call him "pervert"
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
It'll make a proud man beg, make a good man sin, make a tough man cry
When you can't win, make you wanna cash in, and so you start to lie
Just to survive, you'll do anything, and that's a fact
Life on the list is like living death; there's no way back
Down to your last dime, you're out of time because you followed your heart
You know it never ends, you've got no friends, and nowhere to start...
So, here comes Max, he knows the "facts", says he's got the cure
"Cut off his dick, 'cause he makes me sick, keep our children pure!"
Late one night, he looks up the list, and loses his head
He's on run, 'cause he grabbed his gun; now Tom is dead
Now Tom's wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain
Others call Max a hero when he's really a zero, and that's a shame
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
To have to lose...
So, here comes Max, he knows the "facts", says he's got the cure
"Cut off his dick, 'cause he makes me sick, keep our children pure!"
Late one night, he looks up the list, and loses his head
He's on run, 'cause he grabbed his gun; now Tom is dead
Now Tom's wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain
Others call Max a hero when he's really a zero, and that's a shame
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
Then you really might know what it's like
To have to lose...
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